First mentioned: Episode 18

Jesse's Gravestone is a reoccurring subject that grows in size each time he says something quotable. He pays for the upkeep with the profit he made from his Quote-A-Day calendars.

Description so farEdit

Once Jesse passes: his robot wife, Nork Nok, will silently stand by his tombstone for an interminable amount of time.

An immortal old man comes out every month to add new additions to the grave because even though Jesse is dead he will still be spewing nonsense (or he might stockpile quotes on terabyte hard-drives).


“If they did it, they did it. If they didn’t do it they, didn’t do it”​

"Get in the kitchen and make me cookies god dammit"
"Your parents' job is to make your life miserable; if they didn't, they weren't doing it right"
"Technically, it's like brain fapping"
"How's that strawberry sack going"
"Crazy people will always be crazy"
"I almost believed something existed, until I started reading it"
"Yeah, China. Why don't you get to work on making an English sweatshop"
"Honesty is all I've got, beside lies"
"Cats are the worst ever"
"Find someone else to drive your ass to the salon, you dumb ho"
"Why can't there be a number that's just like my phone number and [house wives] call me up and I'm like, "I know your life is boring. How about some of that crazy, kinky sex you should be having?""
"Humour is art, it is what make the human condition worth living. Just like that delicious food, there are so many varieties for your palette. its like experiencing the world with your eyes anew everyday" -- An excerpt from Jesse's Tombstone Calendar
"I can't swallow it whole or my poops will come out too hard"
"Society is messed up"
"Sticks and stones hurt, dick"
"I'm just saying I want a really nice ass"
"I don't get you, Japan"
"If your going on one of those site like, "I'm looking for a sugar daddy, but I'm not a whore", sweetheart, you are. You are"
"No, I'm not a super model. Although, If I was, I would date myself, because I would be gorgeous"
"You suck, world" (The final quote on the tombstone)

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