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Cave Johnson is the Post Master General of Scar City and side kick to Guy Hero. Though often perceived as mysterious and shady, Cave Johnson delivers his brand of justice within 7-14 business days, or 2-3 if you order it express. He is most notable for dressing as a post man, and for delivering mail to house and criminals to hell.

It is believed that Johnson does have the ability to send evil-doers directly to the under world, where they are judged for their crimes.

At first, Guy Hero and Cave Johnson disputed greatly as to how justice should be delivered (i.e. Should Sundays be included, is sushi a viable form of torture). Eventually they accepted each other's brand of justice in an event that most certainly changed the future of Scar City: The Coin Toss of the Millennium.

"I'm going to deliver you to hell"
First introduced: Episode 74